Read the profile twice before you text
Most “bad” first messages are actually just lazy ones. If the profile answers your question and you still ask it, you’re signalling you might not respect other boundaries either. Slow down, read, then write.
A simple first message template
Example: “Hi, my name is A. I’d like to see you on Friday between 8–10pm for 90 minutes. I’m staying at [hotel] in Midtown. I found you on Pure Independents®. What screening do you prefer?” It’s calm, specific, and easy to respond to.
What not to send
Avoid explicit descriptions, uninvited photos, or long stories about your life. Providers are running a business. You can be human and polite without turning the first text into a confessional or a fantasy script.
Respect a no — or silence
If someone declines, or doesn’t reply, don’t argue. Don’t ask “why?”. New York is big. There are many providers and many clients. A graceful exit now makes it more likely that someone else will want to see you later.
This article is part of the Pure Independents® Blog — resources for independent companions and respectful clients in New York City.